Below: It's FROGS and the US Forest Service vs. COWS and BUCKAROOS in Inyo County, CA...shame on the FIESTA DE SANTA BARBARA for spitting on vaquero traditions....someone has an idea for a nudie cuties in Tonopah...Labor Day weekend is coming up....homage to John Wayne...a little primer on AMISH LIDS....we toast CLAUDE DALLAS on the Toasted or Roasted page....

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The Blessed Duo: Bing Crosby's replacement, Father Pat....giving the blessing....while Friar Caldwell looks on.....Monsignor Black...assumably now that he's married...is no longer a man of the cloth...it'll be up to these two to save the world from evil tie downs, poorly fitted bosals, short ropes and rubber wrapped horns....

You ever wonder why Richard Caldwell wears the type of Amish Lid he does, well, read this "primer":

http://www.amishcraft.com/cgi-local/list.cgi?si=121894389889197470&id=117

.....he IS over 45....right?????

Stetson also makes an "Amish Hat":  http://www.qualityhats.com/amish_hat_from_steton_hats.htm

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Just because he was one of the best buckaroos of all:  some neat old pics of JOHN WAYNE...

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Some of you might remember a certain imaginative rant of ours concerning what we would do with the old MIZPAH HOTEL in TONOPAH, NEVADA (uh...that is...if we had the cash to do it with.... ;~) )

We envision a first class brothel and gambling hall, a buckaroo hospice where old has been wolfy and forked types could lay up, get laid...uh...wait...we mean, get PAID...when they win gambling stakes..heh heh....dine in splendor, and once a year...throw a poetry and music gathering that would make the one in Elko...hide it's face in shame.....and of course...don't forget, The Mizpah would also house....the six foot tall stuffed Giant Green Iguana...GREEN KING...our mascot...who would be in the Hotel lobby....GREEN KING....our answer...to the Commercial's WHITE KING.....and the Stockmen's long-gone GIANT KING...

...When we first put this idea up on the Guide, probably one of the best replies came from a mysterious Idaho Type buckaroo who goes by the handle on the ranch chat board of LEPPYCALF...his wickedly brilliant digression...is on our E-mails page...

Apparentely, LEPPYCALF'S idea caught the eye of someone else...STEVE S...

GREEN KING has decided STEVE S. will be awarded the FIRST ANNUAL GREEN KING FRICKIN' GENIUS AWARD...if we can ever get one, a photo of STEVE will someday reside in the GREEN KING HALL OF FAME in the Mizpah Hotel, next to DESTRY CAMPBELL'S...who won the FIRST ANNUAL GREEN KING GET TOUGH OR DIE YOU SONOFABITCH AWARD.....

Note:  if you are offended...by the sight of scantily clad frolicking female buckarooettes and vaqueras...we strongly urge you....to throw your computer out the window NOW...or force yourself to NOT page down any further....mothers...shield your son's eyes...little girls...don't even THINK you can grow up to look....this good....Father Pat, Friar Caldwell, Monsignor Black...yes, you too...must look...the other way....or else that'll be ten Hail Marys...and an Our Father.....

"I send this in fun and hope i do not offend. I read a post on your site and killed a couple of hours making a picture of what i had read. There is a big white falsefront building in Tonopah next to the Banc Casino that I have wanted to make into a buckaroo retreat for years!"
 
steve s.

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OH LORD....STUCK IN LODI....AGAIN?  For our Lodi fans:

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AND YOU THOUGHT THAT ALL THOSE NORTHERN GUYS COULD DO IS FORK BRONCS, HUH?:  Holy Californio wannabes, Bat Fans....some of them....can even rope...!  The OCTOBER ISSUE of WESTERN HORSEMAN will feature 'dem dagnabbed ropin' Mon-tan-uh Types when they do an article on the NORTHERN RANGE RANCH ROPING SERIES featuring PAUL WOODS and SCOTT GROSSKOPF, maybe even CALEB FRENCH, who's dad is some ancient old SOB like we are...among others.... 

The NRRRS site is: www.ranchroping.com

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Speaking of 'dem dagnabbed Mon-tan-uh Types: Rick Bates told us a few weeks back that little (as in...under 13 years old little....) JOHN SYMONDS bought some Montana real estate when a colt pitched him off...he got banged up some....and had a trip to the local ER...and a whopping one day off of work...ONE DAY?  GOSH!  GEE WHIZ!  That was really BIG of his dad....who is slightly infamous....for over-mounting....his kids....but when you're the son of some guy named TJ Symonds...well.....ya got some fairly large bronc riding shoes...to fill....yeah Ira Wines...maybe another one here for potential recruitment, along with the Maupin and Mundell Bunch (see below)?

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FROM THE "SOMEBODY JUST SHOOT ME AND PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY, PLEASE" DEPARTMENT: THE FIESTA DE SANTA BARBARA RECENTLY PENALIZED SOMEONE FOR USING A SPADE BIT!  HUH????

From Richard Caldwell on the Yahoo Californios message board ( http://sports.groups.yahoo.com/group/Californio/ ):

I just heard this informationn last night from a friend. I guess Ute,
Bruce Sandifer's wife, was allowed to show her bridle stock horse in
the Santa Barbara Stock horse bridle class, but then was not allowed to
come back for the finals because she was using a 4" spade. They also
now allow for this class, tie-downs, two hands on bridles, correction
bits, etc. They also allow the rider to get off and lead with the
bridle reins. YET DISALLOWED A RIDER FOR USING TRADITIONAL
EQUIPMENT!!!!!!!!! because they thought the bit was too big!!!!!!
DISGRACE DISGRACE DISGRACE This show has an 85 year history and now
has disgraced the very traditions that it was founded on. All those
who have any integrity and/or pride should boycott this show and maybe
even let them know how you feel by contacting them. I don't know the
contact information, but am assuminng it can easily be found. Santa
Barbara is supposed to have a rich heritage in vaquero
traditions...someone has made it into a sham!!!!!!!! I for one will
boycott them and let them know what I think. What judge would even
agree to judge under these allowances!?!?!

Richard Caldwell

CALL TO ARMS!  If you want to give these leppyfied gunsels some shit for thumbing their noses at tradition, all their phone numbers and e-mails are listed on their website!  Send them e-mails!  Be sure and tell them if they don't pull their collective heads out of their sorry asses we'll be roasting them on the Toasted or Roasted Page...along with tie downs, Hal Cannon, overcooked pasta, sober wagon cooks and Merlot drinking wannabe's in Gus creased hats with 3ft long stampede strings...

Santa Barbara Fiesta Rodeo:

http://www.sbfiestarodeo.com/index.html 

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Sacre bleu!  Ah, cheri....zee Canadians!  Zem forked and wolfy bahstards...zey come to this site so much...zey overload zee server, mon dieu!  So here's to you Canadians.....a You Tube song:

And...a great Canadian blog by a Southern Alberta ranch wife:

Just Another Day on the Prairie: http://prairierunner.wordpress.com/

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IT'S BAAAAACCCCKKKKK:  The sudden demise of the Ranch Country Board caught a lot of folks off guard but not Kim Kinnear of www.bajahorse.com who promptly set up a new board for chatting ranch chat on:  http://www.freepowerboards.com/ranchcountry/login.php

It requires registration so un-leppify yourself you sorry gunsels, register and...go forth and chat....

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"Eastern bred blowhard or a forked and wolfy one trying to uphold tradition and the learning he received from a Californio Father whever he may reside? I'll let the green king decide...."  ~~~  Anonymous E-Mail

Green King Sayeth:  Ooooh!  That one hits below the wrap-around armitas belt, baby!  Well, give him a few points for good taste in hats: he wears our trademark, the Stetson Open Road.....

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FROM THE "THEY'VE DONE IT AGAIN" DEPT.:   Susan Jensen and Paul Singer have put out "HOULIHAN", the fourth in a series of VAQUERO DVD's that includes  TAPADERO, THE REMUDA, HOLO HOLO PANIOLO - covering the Californio/vaquero, the Great Basin Buckaroo, the Hawaiian cowboy - and now, with Houlihan, the "crossbred type" if you will: what happened when Great Basin Buckaroos and Texans blended together in the Northern Ranges - most specifically, Montana and Wyoming.  This hybridization produced a more even disposition, a rangier, lankier frame, great marbling...a leaner carcass...oops....we meant....what happened from all this crossbreeding was....well...you better buy the DVD and find out!:  www.tapadero.com

We had the pleasure of meeting Susan and Paul in Elko this past winter at the poetry orgy, and they are both very affable, knowledgeable and down to earth folks with a wicked sense of humor (they both confessed to being "wannabe's" and Paul admitted to stressing out over whether or not he should wear a wild rag...or if his suspenders...would clash...lest he be roasted on the Wannabe page....).  Both Susan and Paul have paid some dues behind a camera as their bio's attest:

Susan Jensen
Cofounder and Director of J & S Productions, Susan has enjoyed a multifaceted career spanning advertising and documentary filmmaking. She has an ear for a great story and a keen eye through the camera lens, augmented by training at NYU Film School, and UCLA Film School. Prior to 1989 and her foray into the film world, Susan was Senior Vice President at several New York ad agencies, among them, Ogilvy & Mather, Wells Rich Greene and DDB/Needham. She developed advertising and communication programs for a broad roster of Fortune 500 clients.

Paul Singer
Cofounder and Producer of J & S Productions, Paul has been honored with many industry awards including a Silver Lion from the Cannes Film Festival, recognition from the New York Art Directors Club and AIGA. He has also been honored with permanent membership in the Clio Hall of Fame. Over the years, he has created ad campaigns for Volkswagen, Gillette, Pepto-Bismol, Corning Glass Fuji Film and Pioneer Electronics. Before forming J&S Productions, Paul was a Creative/Art Director at DDB, McCaffrey McCall, Young & Rubicam and Scali McCabe Sloves.

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BECAUSE THE BAKERSFIELD SOUND...STILL LIVES...AND ROCKABILLY...IS KING...AND THERE WAS A TIME...BAKERSFIELD...WAS FILLED...WITH THE SOUND OF JINGLEBOBS AND VAQUEROS OFF THE TEJON:  For all you Bakersfield Buckaroos....you know Kern County Fair...is coming up, Sept 17-28th:  http://www.kerncountyfair.com/home.asp

STREETS OF BAKERSFIELD  Buck Owens and Dwight Yoakam

I came here looking for something
I couldn't find anywhere else
Hey, I'm not trying to be nobody
Just want a chance to be myself

I've done a thousand miles of thumbin'
I've worn blisters on my heels
Trying to find me something better
On the streets of Bakersfield

Chorus:
You don't know me but you don't like me
You say you care less how I feel
But how many of you that sit and judge me
Have ever walked the streets of Bakersfield?

Spent some time in San Francisco
Spent a night there in the can
They threw this drunk man in my jail cell
Took fifteen dollars from that man
Left him my watch and my old house key
Don't want folks thinkin' that I'd steal
Then I thanked him as I was leaving, and
I headed for the streets of Bakersfield

Chorus:
You don't know me but you don't like me
You say you care less how I feel
But how many of you that sit and judge me
Have ever walked the streets of Bakersfield?

You don't know me but you don't like me
You say you care less how I feel
But how many of you that sit and judge me
Have ever walked the streets of Bakersfield?

How many of you that sit and judge me
Have ever walked the streets of Bakersfield?

Bakersfieldisms

A tribute to the quaint town of Bakersfield, California... loved by some, but not understood by most.

You will park a mile away from an entrance just to have your car parked under a tree.

Instead of people thinking you're "rich" for having leather seats, they think you're stupid.

You laugh when people complain about 95 degree weather.

You're not worried about the big "California fires" cause by the time it gets any closer, they close the Grapevine.

You've seen the "Stairway to Heaven" lights" while coming back to Bako at night on the Grapevine. You know to call it "Bako" and why we call it that.

You know what "White, Ming, Rosedale, Calloway, and Panama" mean. When you go out of town & you see a sign saying "Union Ave" you lock your car doors.

Rosedale is a world all its own.

Rosedale ALSO needs to be turned into a sitcom. And if you live in Stockdale? OC ain't got NOTHIN on us baby...except maybe an ocean.

You remember the TWO times in the last 25 years that it snowed in Bakersfield, and you remember everything you did that snow day.

Everyone always says they're going to leave, but you know that if you try, you get sucked right back in.

You take the "California Roll" to a whole new level.

You know where all the "haunted houses" are when Halloween comes around.

You know what an "08er is", where "the Dale" is, and who a "Daleon" is.

You know Trouts, and were not talking about the fish.

People who actually MADE it out of this city sit here & laugh at these because they know they're TRUE.

One of your friends owns a house on a spot where you had field parties in high school.

You know the ingredients in a George's Special, or may have had a "Black and White" for lunch.

You get mad every time you see "Best of Times" when Taft wins at the end.

You comment on how expensive Mexican food is in any other city in the country and, more than that ... how terrible it tastes everywhere else.

You have offered someone a "Dewar's Chew".

You know if you're not at Luigi's at exactly 10:30 Saturday morning you're not getting a steak sandwich.

You claim to hate LA but go there at least every other month.

You have debated the merits of water skiing at Lake Ming versus Buena Vista.

You have to explain to friends from out of town what animal a tri-tip comes from ... and when they don't believe you ... you can't prove it as no other butcher shop has them.

You think beans and salsa go with everything.

You think a restaurant is chintzy if it doesn't come with soup, salad, spaghetti, and fries.

You think a red light is just a suggestion.

The best restaurants in town serve pickled tongue!

You think $600 a month for rent is way too high.

You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.

You know the pool is usually warmer than you are.

You realize that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.

Anywhere that takes longer than a 10 minute drive is way too far.

You think you're better than people from Fresno.

Someone mentions "the fair" and your thoughts turn to Cinnamon Buns, First Christian Church caramel corn, and Boy Scout potatoes.

You have to "explain" to someone about Beach Park.

Someone from out of town talks about how foggy it is and you chuckle & tell them, "Just wait."

You drive just as fast on a foggy day as you did yesterday when it was clear.

You swear that just last week there was an orchard where there is now a whole development of houses.

You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Bakersfield....the rest will be just scratching their heads.

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PENDLETON, OREGON: LET'ER BUCK, PAINT AND SHOOT (PHOTOS, THAT IS):  BUCKAROO ARTIST DENISE SMITH says: "Sept. 8-14, 2008  will be showing my work @ Hamleys and Rodeo Square in Pendleton... Oils and photography...Would be a kick if you did make an appearance...   ???????????????  later, Denise"
www.denisesmithsranchstudio.com

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Ahhhhh Labor Day weekend.  Too many choices on that weekend....

Tri County Fair, Bishop, CA:  www.tricountyfair.com

Elko County Fair, Elko, NV: http://www.elkocountyfair.com/index.html

Tri County Fair & Rodeo, Winnemucca, NV: www.winnemucca.com

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LIKE FATHER...LIKE SON....

Reknowned artist Buckeye Blake's son TEAL BLAKE is an artist in his own right.....

My name is Teal Blake and I am a western artist, my father is Buckeye Blake, a nevada raised artist. I currently live in Texas, but have lived in Montana, Idaho, and California. I thought I would send you some of my work, as I would be honored for you to graffiti your pages with it. I run with Mark Kohler, and am proud to say I am one of the few left for traditional western art. I grew up in my fathers studio reading will james and charlie russell books until my parents were so sick of me drawing bucking horses that they took away my crayons. You can see some of my work at www.legacygallery.com, let me know if I can grace your site with any more. Love the honesty, and I cant tell you how much I feel grateful when I get to go and work on the ranches, what a privelage, I wish more people understood the mystic of it.

Best,

Teal Blake

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OLYMPICS GOSSIP:  We have it from a good source that DEETH HARNEY, CHIP MCGEE and CHANCE WHYME were all offered berths on the US Olympics team in the hurdles event but they turned it down...when they found out that hats weren't allowed....and the coach....was a Texan....

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Old Dolores
(James Grafton Rogers)  Sung by Katie Lee, 10,000 Goddam Cattle

In the country down below where the little pinons grow,
And it's nearly always half a day to water.
There stood a little town where the creek come tumbling down
From the mesa where she surely hadn't oughter.
The streets were bright with candlelight;
The whole town joined the chorus;
And every man in sight let his cattle drift at night,
Just to mosey to the town of old Dolores.

Well things'd kind of spin 'til the sun come up again,
Like the back of some old yeller prairie wagon,
And show you dim and red maybe half a hundred head
Of our saddle ponies standing....reins a-draggin'.
The red mud walls, the waterfalls,
The whole wide world before us;
Now the 'dobe walls are gone, the goats' bell in the dawn
Ain't a-jingling in the streets of old Dolores.

The greaser girls would fool in the plaza in the cool,
There's one...I used to meet her by a willer;
But I guess that any girl gives a feller's heart a whirl
When the same's been using saddles fer a piller.
The wide-eyed stars, the long cigars,
And the drinks Ramon would pour us....
If there's any little well down within the gates of hell,
I know the boys have called it old Dolores. 

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"I have been sewing my fingers off getting wild rags ready for the season.  We have been branding, gathering, and helping move cattle.  The kids have been rodeoing. It has been a fun summer.  I am attaching a picture of some Oregon Buckaroos who helped gather cattle for a branding off of the Steens Mountain range.  Boy on the bay is Cade Maupin, Girl on the Sorrel is Cora Mundell, Boy on the palamino is Ian Maupin, and the girl on the buckskin is Emma Mundell "   Take Care,    Amy 

A PASSEL OF FORKED LITTLE BUGGERS:  The Maupins and the Mundells.  Hmmm...almost sounds like a remake of the Clantons and the Earps...seen here taking the top off the rough string so mom and dad can get on 'em....hmmm..heads up Ira Wines you may want to recruit these little wolfy youngin's in another few years....

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Quote du jour: 

"(DFG Biologist) Curtis Milliron is an asshole...and (Bishop cattleman) Ron Yribarren should have shot him a long time ago...." 

                                  ~~~~  Anonymous comment we received

RON Y...A NEIGHBOR OF OURS...GETS THE RUN-AROUND FROM THE FEDS AND NOW HAS TO FEED 400 COWS & THEIR CALVES THIS WINTER....WITH THE OUTLANDISH PRICE OF HAY....THIS IS GOING TO BE THE 'OUCH' HEARD 'ROUND THE SIERRAS....

Thursday, 14 August 2008 INYO COUNTY REGISTER, BISHOP, CALIFORNIA

The mountain yellow-legged frog, has been dying off in great numbers in the Coyote area, apparently due to a fungus that scientists now conclude was not introduced by Yribarren’s cattle. Coyote area photos courtesy Ron Yribarren/frog photo courtesy DFG   By Debbie Murphy Register Correspondent 8-12-2008 The Forest Service and an Owens Valley cattleman will collaborate on a plan for access to grazing allotments without spreading a fungus that threatens the mountain yellow-legged frog. The goal is to return Ron Yribarren’s cattle to allotments that run from Big Pine to Bishop in the Inyo National Forest for summer grazing in 2008. Shortly before Yribarren and his crew were scheduled to move 400 head of cattle into the mountains in June, the allotment was pulled. The California Department of Fish and Game and Forest Service had found a die-off of what had once been a thriving population of the frogs in Cow Creek in Coyote Flats. “We didn’t like doing it,” said District Ranger Margaret Wood at a meeting held Friday. “Emergencies for natural resources are unplanned, catastrophic events that require inescapable urgency and action. That’s what I thought we had.”  Tests verified the frogs had died of an infection from the chytrid fungus, a spore that has impacted more than 500 species of frogs worldwide. In 2007, the frog count in the creek was 1,500; by the time DFG crews did the assessment in June 2008, there were 20 to 30. “They were literally dying in our hands,” said DFG biologist Curtis Milliron.   Sanger Meadow in Coyote Flats where rancher Ron Yribarren has grazed his cattle in years past. Coyote area photos courtesy Ron Yribarren/frog photo courtesy DFG   The fungus was not introduced into Cow Creek by Yribarren’s cows. The grazing allotment has not been used since 2005 either because of a Forest Service or Yribarren’s determination that conditions were not good. Ironically, both Wood and Milliron agreed that erosion control measures Yribarren took in the Cow Creek area in the 1990s had provided improved habitat for the frog. The mountain yellow-legged frog is a candidate for endangered species status. It was determined to be “warranted but precluded” in January of 2003. According to Milliron, the federal decision not to list the frog was due to lack of funding for additional species.  “It behooves all of us to show intent to protect the frog,” said Wood. “Once a species is listed it becomes very difficult from a land management standpoint. It’s in all our interests to do the right thing here.” Additional testing indicates the fungus is not in Coyote Creek, a waterway unconnected to and above the affected Cow Creek. Cow Creek runs into Baker Creek, which has yet to be tested. Milliron anticipates doing the testing in Baker toward the end of August. “If it’s in Cow Creek, it’s in Baker and then the Owens River. It’ll end up all the way from Big Pine south to Los Angeles,” said Yribarren. The strategy, according to Wood, is to figure out a route or grazing pattern that does not take Yribarren’s herd from affected creeks into unaffected areas. Yribarren pointed out routes that could be used to herd the cattle into the grazing area that would meet the goal. Earlier efforts to find options for Yribarren to use to his allotments this year were stymied by lack of information on the spread of the chytrid fungus. In addition, the cattle have to be off the mountain before the first frost because of the presence of a noxious weed fatal to cows. According to Wood, the only compensation to Yribarren would be a credit for his allotment payment. By the time Yribarren got the no-go order, he had already taken crews and materials into Coyote Flats in preparation for the drive. In addition, the mountain grazing allows the rancher’s Owens Valley grazing area to re-seed. He had planned on adding to the herd, but had to rescind in order not to overgraze his valley acreage. “I’ll have to feed 400 cows and their calves for two months during the winter,” he said. Hay prices have gone up 33 percent since 2007. Both Yribarren and Milliron discovered the die-off on Cow Creek in early June. Yribarren was on the mountain with his crews when he saw and photographed dead frogs along Cow Creek. “I took the photos to Forest Service because I was afraid I’d be blamed for it,” he said. The DFG crew went to the area during the first week in June as part of a summer training program. Milliron had heard of frog die-off, found no frogs below a Forest Service ATV bridge and an estimated 1,000 dead frogs above the bridge. One of the frustrations with the chytrid fungus is that no one knows exactly how it spreads. According to Milliron, the spores move on their own and could be transported by insects or animals and people. While other frog species have gone extinct because of the disease, the mountain yellow-legged frogs have barely hung on primarily because of its relatively long lifespan of 10-15 years. Milliron said the tadpoles take 2-3 years to morph into froglets, then another 2-3 to reach breeding age. Tadpoles can become infected with the fungus, but not fatally. The fungus attacks the keratin in the frog’s skin interfering with its ability to take in water. “The frogs basically die of thirst,” Milliron said. “The most significant thing,” Milliron said, “is that in the last 8-10 years, some $10 million has been put into research in California.” Sixty-five frogs, similar to the Sierra species, found in the San Bernardino/San Jacinto ranges were removed from their habitat and are being bred in captivity. In another study, researchers treated infected frogs with an anti-fungal bath and re-released them into a hot environment. After three years, the frogs are still maintaining their resistance and are breeding. “They’re still infected with the fungus, but at lower levels,” said Milliron. “Looking forward, we have to realize this thing (the fungus) is bigger than us, than all the scientists,” said Inyo County First District Supervisor Linda Arcularius at Friday’s meeting. “There’s no proof that keeping the cattle away will keep it from spreading. You can’t plan for what you can't control.”

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